J. Haux

10/10 because you made it yourself.

I don't have much to add to Silverstar's comments. I feel like you're giving a lot of unnecessary background info, and it detracts from the story. Remember that we don't ...

“Yes? Linda that’s absurd! People spend lifetimes trying to change their fate’s but the stars are always one step ahead,” he said passionately. fates She sounded panicked and generally concern

It was Gillian’s first ever encounter with a star-gazer, the one before her was unusually female. Unusually female? What exactly do you mean by that? I don't know who Gillian ...

Waiting for more...I've followed this from the beginning.

*laugh* I especially like the one guy's expression at the end--the Grim Reaper. :D

Welcome, Betty! Am I behind in greeting? *gasp* I'm Jacquie. Please call me that, if you can remember it... :wink: We have some things in common: we're both American, like ...

ihaven'tdone this before. my nwe is good for this"(Iit's long and pointy

8/10 because I don't care about grammatical errors...right now :D

By the way, I was right about the dialog punctuation. It happens all over: "Do you like guinea pigs?" the girl asked brightly. "I do." as opposed to "Do you ...

First of all.... Let me tell you some things I like about this. I love the flavor and character of your writing! The description is good. The mystery is enticing. ...

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Ooh! OOH! I haven't finished reading. Shoot! It's too late! But you can tell how excited I am...it's really good, what I've read so far. A-ha-ha-hooray! I'm so gleeful I'm ...

Very interesting...I'll have to see more of it. :D Tsk tsk-You have some editing to do. :wink: Be especially careful of comma splices and runons. They can be tricky to ...

I'll try to come back later. I don't have a lot of time. From what I read, Silverstar seemed point out most of the important stuff. You really need to ...